What is a Love Design?
To understand our current love reality, we need to see where it came from. Our first opportunity to feel loved came as a baby through our parents or caregivers. Their shower of love created our first feelings of being loved or their lack of love left us feeling love-starved. Many of us fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
I believe most parents, including myself, try to do their best. But we are all imperfect. Nevertheless, the love we experienced in our first five years formed our basic definition, expectations, and understanding of how we feel loved by people and how we let people love us.
The rest of our current definitions and understanding of love has subconsciously evolved over our lifetime through the:
- Words and messages, we heard and believed about ourselves and love
- Good and painful love experiences in our relationships
- Role models we watched
- Actions and words we came to accept as “normal and loving”
- Beliefs we formed about love, ourselves, others, God, and Jesus Christ from all of these aspects in our lives
If our past was key in the formation of our love design, why doesn’t Jesus fix it when we are saved?
Because God created us with the privilege and freedom to choose, we must choose to learn and grow with Jesus. We were not born with the understanding and knowledge of the true love of Christ, which makes it imperfect and broken.
Many Christians struggle in their marriages because they don’t realize that they are each operating from their broken love designs. Some Christians have no idea that they have grown up accepting unhealthy or abusive behaviors as “normal.”
When we desire to find true love and to be a “good Christian,” and we haven’t studied God’s word, how do we expect this outcome? Are we looking at Jesus as a genie who will make us Christ-like without any effort on our part? Expecting Jesus to do everything for us goes against his description of our faith in God’s word. Our faith is activated, strengthened, and matured through our belief and actions.
Because we don’t know what we don’t know, we are unaware of the devil’s schemes. The only way to see the truth is through God’s word. Jesus tells us, “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.” Matthew 22:29 Without knowing God’s truth about Christ’s love, forgiveness, repentance, trust, boundaries, and reconciliation, our broken love design will keep us blind to Christ’s love.
How can people begin their journey with Jesus to transform their love design?
When you change what you know and follow Christ’s truth and love design, your life and love will change. I know how scary it is to trust something new over what you know. Your feelings are real, and they must be acknowledged and processed. However, feelings aren’t always true or logical. When we are a disciple of Jesus, we are instructed to be led by the Spirit and not by our flesh, which includes our emotions.
One of the biggest hurdles I faced to stop making the wrong love choices was to uncover the devaluing messages and eliminate the lies I had believed about my identity and value to Jesus.
I stopped letting my pain and other people’s opinions, be my truth. I stopped letting my pain overshadow the truth that Jesus died on the cross to prove to me that I was worth dying for. Don’t allow the devil to plant any beliefs in your mind that Jesus doesn’t love you or that you are not worthy of his love because he also died for you. Guard your mind and heart against using your feelings to determine your definition of love or to question if you are loved. Christ’s death proves people’s devaluing opinions of you are wrong.
When you work with Jesus, he will heal your life and heart. As you live in surrender to him, he will bless our life. I’m not proud of the facts that I’ve overcome three abusive marriages and divorces. I share my life and christian love advice to show you that Jesus will continue to teach us, to heal us, and to use our life’s lessons to help others find his exceptional love, hope, and grace.
As I began my journey to help other Christians learn about Christ’s exceptional love design, I was content to be single. I booked a vacation to Italy, which had always been a dream in my heart. I thought it was just a dream trip.
However, God decided to bless me. He introduced me to my husband Alan, who lives in the characteristics of Jesus and who loves me like Christ. Our story could only be designed and orchestrated by God. Our story is proof that Jesus can heal, redeem, and bless your life no matter how messy it was in the past. If he can do it for me, He can do it for you. He has a specific story for you, and only you can choose to take his hand and follow his exceptional love.
Change what you know and change your life!
If you are ready to stop letting your past pain and broken love design control your present reality or to dictate your future, you are ready to take the next step to learn about Christ’s exceptional love design.
Stop making the wrong love choices by learning how to live in Christ’s love design and experience his love and blessings now.
To help you discover and learn to live in Christ’s exceptional love design, sign up to be the first to get my book, Quest for Exceptional Love, NOW! (create an opt-in for new book releases, online course releases, and speaking events)
DO YOU KNOW ?
1 in 3 women experience abuse in their lifetime. However, Native American women are abused 4 times the national average, and they are 10 times more likely to be murdered.
Abuse and Domestic Violence are the least talked about, addressed, and provided with resources pandemic in the Christian church today.
The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $8.3 billion per year. Medical costs, physical and mental, make up for 70% of the total.
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