Verbal abuse usually starts out subtly. Your abusive spouse starts insulting you and if you object, they try to justify their abuse as ‘a joke.’ This form of manipulation is used by bullies, mean girls, and abusers. When the abuser is questioned or held accountable, they turn the tables by telling the victim that they are being too touchy or sensitive. They are deflecting their responsibility and the truth.
Some of us may have grown up believing that we all get angry and say mean things, but as long as we apologize, it’s okay. This belief has a strand of truth. However, when we have this mindset, we are giving ourselves permission to speak unkind words with no consideration for the effect they will have on our victims. All words are created from our heart and it has an intent. God knows the truth even when we try to hide from it.
It’s time for Christ’s disciples to seek to know the true love design of Jesus and to know the types and signs of domestic abuse so that we are not caught unaware. Because we live in this broken world where the devil has influence, we must prepare ourselves with the knowledge of his schemes.
I realized that my whole life had been a quest to find Christ’s true love. I had traded up to lesser abuse with each marriage, while I tried to find Christ’s love through my broken love design.
When we have grown up in an unhealthy, dysfunctional, or negative environment, we may not realize how we have learned to talk destructively to ourselves, especially when we face a challenge.
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