New Year: New Definition of Love?

New Year: New Definition of Love?

I love spaghetti, I love music, and I love you; are phrases we use without much thought. What is your definition of love? What does love mean to you? How do you know you have found pure love?

Where Do You Get Your Definition of Love?

You’re not born with the understanding and knowledge of Christ pure love. The first place you experience love is through your imperfect parents or caregivers. Their lack of care or love will also create a broken definition of love from feeling rejected and love-starved. The love you experience in your first three years of life forms your basic understanding and definition of love.

As you grow up, your life experiences continually influence and alter your beliefs about love. Your beliefs modify your current definition of love. If you have been showered with love by your parents, and you know that you are loved, count yourself blessed. However, if you feel love-starved and always seeking to feel loved, take heart because you are not alone. Many of you will fall between these two extremes of feeling loved.

The reality for all of us is the fact that subconsciously we have allowed our feelings to determine if we are worthy to be loved. Feelings are real. But they’re not always true. Jesus died to show you that you are loved. Do not allow the enemy to ignite any feelings of being unlovable. Guard your mind and heart against using your feelings to determine your definition of love.

When we base our understanding and meaning of love on our imperfect experiences in life, we will continue to use the only definition of love we know, which is broken.

Three Love Designs

Worlds Definition of Love: The Webster’s dictionary defines love as:  

1. An intense feeling of deep affection.

2. A person you love.

3. To feel deep romantic and sexual attachment to someone.

The origin of the world’s definition of love comes from the German word “lufu,” meaning “desires, it is pleasing.” These three definitions are rooted in feelings of self-focus and self-gratification. They illustrate the world’s self-serving design of love seen on TV, in magazines, advertising, and on social networks. The world often portrays love as a commodity and not a truthful, respectful, and honoring the commitment. It degrades individuals, Christ’s perfect love, the sanctity of marriage, and the blessing of sex in marriage.

Your Broken Definition of Love: When your definition of love is formed primarily from your imperfect experiences and the world’s definition of love, it will be broken. Unless you learn a healthy and pure definition of love, you will keep using your broken one. To break the pattern of living in broken love, you need to learn to live in Christ’s definition of exceptional love in a personal and progressive relationship with him.

Christ’s Definition of Love: Christ’s definition of love originates from the source of love, God himself. “God is love.” 1 John 4:8 NIV We were created in the image of God. Therefore, we are created from God’s love.

Even though man’s prideful sin separated our direct contact with God beginning with Adam and Eve, our loving Father God, sent his love to earth to help us. He sent His only son Jesus to give us the opportunity to be reunited with Him on earth and into eternity. Christ’s willingness to become fully man and to pay the penalty for all the sins of man is his definition of selfless, unconditional love.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 NIV

Christ definition of love is not self-seeking. It honors and respects God, others and yourself. It also instructs us to take care of ourselves which is the temple of the Holy Spirit. As Christ lives in us 24 hours a day, we are responsible for ensuring that he is treated with honor and respect.

It’s easy to love our friends and the people we like. However, we are called to love our friends, family, neighbors, strangers, and our enemies. Loving those who hurt us, and our enemies doesn’t mean we should allow them to abuse us nor are we to trust them. We are instructed to be kind, respectful, which is loving them as Christ loves us. Although we may be persecuted for believing in Jesus, we are NOT instructed to let others abuse us.

How Does Your Definition of Love Measure up to Christ’s?

To help you see the practical aspects of Christ’s love in your life, let’s look at his life while he lived on earth. His attitudes, words, heart, actions, and characteristics are the blueprint for our definition of exceptional love. His blueprint is revealed in the fruits of the Spirit. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

These characteristics reveal the people who are partnering with Jesus to live in his definition of exceptional love. How mature are the fruits of your spirit? Are you showing love to your family and friends, yet, you are mean and impatient with others? Are you seeking peace without implementing self-control for your anger?

Being transformed into the likeness of Christ is a process. When you choose to be a Christ follower, you are devoted to partnering with Jesus to mature the fruits of the Spirit in you. As you mature in Christ, your definition of love will mirror his definition of exceptional love.

Transform Your Definition of Love

All who come to Christ and partner with him have the opportunity to live in his exceptional definition of love. You don’t have to hold on to your broken definition of love that has brought you pain, frustration, and repeated relationship mistakes. Christ’s love is not dependent on how good you are or what you do.

As a child of God, Christ’s love dwells in you. His love is designed to overflow as you mature in him through a personal relationship. Christ’s love in you is the light of the world. It is the hope for broken people to find and live in the pure exceptional love of Jesus Christ.

It’s time to step into the wisdom, understanding, and power of God’s love. Be courageous. Hold Christ’s hand and have your broken definition of love transformed into his pure exceptional love!

Ready to break through your broken definition of love and live in Christ’s exceptional love, contact me NOW at

About the Author:

I love to help Christians discover and eliminate the lies they have believed about true love and domestic abuse through Christ's exceptional love design. Abuse is NEVER God's design or will.

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