As a Christian, would you:
  • Curse, slap, or punch Jesus?
  • Let someone degrade Jesus, humiliate him, or manipulate him?

If you have answered no to both questions and yet you are allowing your spouse to do these things to you, or you are doing these things to your spouse, you indeed are hurting Jesus. Jesus tells us, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40 NIV When you asked Jesus to come and live inside your heart, you asked him to make you Christ-like or a Christian. However, your salvation doesn’t make you immune from getting caught in the cycle of abuse on this broken earth.

I have been a Christian since the age of six, and yet I endured thirteen years of abuse to a man who professed to be a Christian. I know first-hand the complexities and devastation of this silent pandemic. I have also experienced the church’s (denominations), silence or reluctance to address the widespread problem of abuse from the pulpit.


One out of every three women at the grocery store, your office, and the church you attend are in the midst of domestic violence, or they have experienced verbal, mental, psychological, emotional, or financial abuse in their past. Because 85% of domestic violence victims are women, I use women as the victims. The silence of abuse can no longer continue if we are truly following the ways of Jesus Christ.

The devil uses four key aspects to construct and increase abuse and create trouble in marriages—our unawareness, brokenness, lack, and commitment. It’s time to state God’s truth and uncover the tactics the enemy uses to distort God’s blessed design for love and marriage.

Time For Change

God’s people or the Church is called to rise up and be part of the solution to stop the pandemic of abuse and domestic violence. Without injecting God’s truth, transforming grace, support for healing, and discipleship training, the devil will continue to destroy individuals, marriages, families, churches, communities, and countries. Loving others “IS” to help our abused sisters and abusive brothers overcome their deceptions and infiltration of the enemy.

It’s time for you to find professional help from a Christian counselor specializing in abuse if you are being abused. They will help you create safe Godly boundaries while you work on your healing. Your decision to protect Jesus in you is your first step to healing. You are only responsible for work with Jesus on your healing as you aim to treat your spouse as Jesus would. All God is asking you to do is to partner with Jesus and find people to help you journey through your healing and stop the legacy of abuse in your children’s lives.

I am here to tell you there is hope and victory waiting for you in the arms of Jesus. When you are both committed you can work through your troubled or abusive Christian marriage. I am proof you can be healed through God’s transforming grace regardless of the choice your spouse makes. Take your first step out of the boat of abuse you are in, and you will find yourself walking on water through your storm of abuse holding the mighty hand of Jesus Christ. You, like me, can live safe, secure, and loved. I leave you with a promise from the mouth of Jesus Christ himself.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 NIV

If you are in danger, even in a Christian marriage, please contact the hotline below and create a safe plan to help you leave safely. or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

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