- Have you ever thought that being a Christian would fix all the problems in your marriage?
- Have you ever believed if your faith was “strong enough” your marriage would be wonderful?
- Have you ever believed if you submit to your husband, no matter how he treats you, that you are pleasing God?
What are Faith Fantasies?
Fantasy: A fantasy is defined as the activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable.
Faith: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:1, 6 NIV
Our faith is founded in Christ Jesus living in and through us as we are his disciples or Christians. Jesus tells us that we will have trials, but he will empower us to overcome them. Our faith is not a genie to be ordered, manipulated, or to use as a rationalization for other people’s hurtful or abusive behavior. Our faith is our confidence in our hope of Christ living in us. It’s the assurance of him flowing through us as we live in him, even though we can’t see him physically.
A faith fantasy is imagining that your faith is a genie that fixes your problems, a thing you can manipulate, or a misguided rationalization for someone to hurt or abuse you. Fantasies in difficult relationships are common because we so desperately want to feel loved and to have a wonderful relationship all the time. However, fantasies are not real, and they don’t solve a thing.
How Faith Fantasies are Formed
Faith fantasies are formed for two primary reasons. First, when you don’t know God’s word for yourself, you don’t personally know the heart and character of Christ. You are unaware of the aspects of faith and your responsibility to work with Jesus to grow your faith. When Scriptures are taken out of context, altered, and misquoted you have no way of knowing if you are hearing God’s truth or you are being deceived. Without personally knowing God’s truth, you will keep believing in untruths about your faith, God, and Jesus Christ. Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. Roman 10:17 NIV
Second, you don’t know how to allow the Spirit of Christ to flow through you as you walk with him hand-in-hand every day. When you don’t have a progressive personal relationship with Jesus, you keep trying to find a way to fix things and to make your life better on your own. You’re focused on trying to be good instead of dwelling in the presence of Jesus and allowing him to help you transform your mind, heart, and life. Christ’s greatest desire is for you to dwell with him, not to be focused on “doing” good for Him. The good works come from being with Jesus naturally. When you’re walking beside Jesus every minute of every day, you will live in his love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and self-control. His love will transform you.
Jesus doesn’t download you with God’s word or his revelations when you receive his Salvation. You don’t have all his wisdom, discernment, and understanding of Christ’s exceptional love. Jesus has to personally teach you how to become like him.
Danger of Faith Fantasies
Your initial broken love design comes from your experiences. You alter your love design as you experience love. Your understanding of love can also change when you hear about Christ’s love. Even if you grew up in a Christian home, as I did, it doesn’t mean you have the true picture of Christ’s exceptional love design. Especially, if your parents are still operating from their broken love design.
When you only see love through the lens of your broken love design, it skews your understanding of Christ’s love. Through your broken love, you may create a faith fantasy to cope or to control your unhealthy or hurtful relationships. If this is how your parents dealt with the challenges in their marriage, you will continue to do what you know.
Remember, you can only do what you know. You will only love the way you know how to love until you learn about Christ’s exceptional love. You will walk in your faith the only way you know how to walk in your faith until you let Jesus teach you something new.
The danger of creating and living in a faith fantasy is like walking in a dark room full of furniture and expecting not to fall. The enemy wants to make sure you are blind and deceived in your relationships. His goal is to bring doubt and separation between you and Christ in your mind, heart, and life.
God’s Truth Sets You Free
Your salvation placed you in Christ Jesus. You are in him, and he also dwells in you. Nothing can separate you from the love of God. However, to live in his freedom and truth, you must know God’s word and power in your life. Jesus is not a genie for you to command. Your salvation and faith are not simply a get out of hell escape clause.
Your faith in Jesus is an ever-growing confidence, hope, assurance, and trust in the loving presence of Jesus flowing through you. Salvation is holding out your arms to Jesus and showing him your willingness to learn how to be transformed into his loving likeness. Living out your faith requires your participation as you walk hand in hand with Jesus daily.
As you grow closer to Christ learning about God’s word and experiencing his exceptional love, he will transform your broken love design into his exceptional love design. You will know God’s truth for yourself and not be deceived by misquoted or twisted Scriptures. You will know that God’s love casts out fear. You will understand and trust that Christ’s exceptional love design does not include fantasy, escape, or abuse.
You are strong and courageous with Christ in you. Let his exceptional love guide you, teach you, and transform every aspect of your life. Choose to live in his truth, and you will be free from the deception of faith fantasies.
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