The enemy lives in the dark spaces between the truth of God we know and what we don’t know in his word or how our faith is worked out. Jesus told us that we error because we don’t know the word of God or his power. (Matt 22:29) The problem with not knowing or assuming something opens us up to being deceived. To add to many Christian’s confusion is the fact that we are not shown a clear path to understand what the peace of Jesus is, how it works, what we need to do with Jesus to let it flow.
Christ’s words reveal that we will have visible and invisible storm elements in our lives from time to time. Some storms are expected, and we can see them coming. Other storms just pop up because we live in this broken world.
I knew if Jesus could endure the cross for me and come back to life, then he would help me. Choosing to trust Jesus and to trust God helped me experience living in Christ’s hope. Without trusting and loving them, living in unstoppable hope was not possible.
The reason we have abuse is because we don’t know about Christ’s true love design and therefore, we are operating from our imperfect definition, ideals, and design of love from the messages we heard, the role models we watched, and the experiences we had. When you choose to be a disciple of Christ through Salvation, you are choosing to be his apprentice. You are committing to learning his ways of love and following them to transform your love design into his.
When you believe your identity originates or it is determined by imperfect people (including yourself), you will constantly feel a need to prove yourself, fix yourself, or punish yourself.
Choosing to stay in my first thirteen-year abusive marriage almost ended in my death and my ex-husband’s death. Love fantasies are destructive, unwise, and deadly.
Depending on the dynamics, standards, and version of love you grew up with you may not realize Christ’s love design. You may have accepted that being disrespected, blamed, shamed, and abused is normal when the person apologizes.
When abusers show their good side, it reminds their victims of what they fell for, and it brings FALSE hope. The victims wants her abusive husband to be healed and her marriage to be all she had hoped for.
The people in our congregations, Christ’s people, are hurting and confused. They don’t know where to find help to understand how Christ’s design of love is different than theirs.
Many Christian marriages are struggling to find happiness and fulfillment. They love each other, they go to church together, they pray together, but they can't seem to stop fighting or being frustrated. Some of these marriages may be in an abusive cycle without knowing it.