For most of my childhood, I tried being a “perfect little girl” so I would be noticed and loved by my parents. In my teens, I tried to fit into the clicks by partying. In my thirteen-year abusive marriage, I tried to be what my abusive ex-husband kept telling me to be. You see, I know first-hand how easy it is to be deceived into believing you are not enough. I bought the lie of the devil that I had to be what someone else wanted me to be to feel loved. What deceptions are you caught in right now?
History shows us that when imperfect people use their independence to get what they desire without any consideration of others and a foundation of love and honor, the result is hurt, abuse, and devastation.
The process of surrender is constant and requires you to be intentional. Ever present is our flesh self-will wanting to do things “our way” and in “our time.” However, our way is the opposite of trusting and surrendering to Jesus.
Unfortunately, many Christians have not been taught how to use Christ’s strength in them to help them face and overcome their problems. Jesus shows us the importance of acknowledging, examining, and the steps necessary to overcome our problems through his love, example, and scripture. We all start out as infants using our emotions and cries to alert others to our basic needs. Some of you have never grown out of the emotional reactionary demand for what we desire, want, or need, especially if people have always given into you. You may think you have control over others but in the end, you are an emotional mess. The truth is, your emotions have made a slave of you. The good news is, you can learn a new empowering mindset and behavior to free yourself from using your out-of-control emotional reactions.
My mindset led me to accept it was “normal” for a woman to expect to be punished if she provoked her husband’s anger. The enemy loves to twist a strand of truth with rationalizations, excuses, and entitlement in your mind to justify why someone who professes to love you, would hurt you. I didn’t realize that my marriage focused on making my husband happy to avoid making him mad, instead of love. At this point in my life, I didn’t know about God’s design of love and marriage.
One of the hardest things for me to accept and practice was the reality that this list was meant for me to follow and it is also the standards for which I was to receive love from others. God’s second commandment for me to love others as I love myself placed the loving relationship between two people on equal standards. Abuse is NEVER Pure Love Jesus NEVER allowed anyone to abuse him until he gave himself to be the sacrifice for our sins. Being Christ-like is to imitate him. We are not called to let people abuse us but to love us in the pure substance of Christ’s love living in and flowing through us.
There have been many times growing up when I wished I could have pulled out my umbrella to shield myself from the storms of life. Unlike my fun in the rain as a little girl, real-life challenges have proven to be anything but fun. They also seem to come in their timing and not by your choice. As a young adult, when I faced challenges, I tried to protect myself and to find my own solutions while praying for God to help me. However, as I have grown in a deeper understanding of Christ through our evolving relationship, I realize he is my shield of protection. He needs to be the first thing I cling to and not my thoughts or plans. Jesus himself told us we would face trials on this broken earth in our imperfect bodies. Our trials help us see the depth of our faith and what we need to work on in partnership with him. When I dwell with Jesus and allow him to direct my steps, I can rest at peace in his provision, protection, and abounding love in the midst of life’s storms. Living in faith doesn’t mean that a storm will go away unless Jesus chooses to calm my storm. It means Jesus is my umbrella and I am never alone. As I hold on to him, he keeps my sight clear and focused on his love and solutions as we walk through the storms of life together.
My revelation of knowing and trusting Jesus lives in me frees me to stop focusing on how I will live my day; to how Jesus and I, will live our day. I know my union with Christ isn’t some thought I choose to believe or proclaim, it is now my spiritual DNA. Once you KNOW there is no separation from Jesus; Christ becomes the point of origin for all your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Your motive in and through Christ is to come from his pure love.
You may not be able to call down a thunderbolt from the sky or to shrink to the size of an ant or to deflect bullets from your bracelets of gold. However, you may have the superpower of friendliness, to talk to anyone because they feel comfortable with you. You may have the superpower of a generous heart, continually finding ways to bless people. You may have the superpower of laughter, making people laugh where ever you go. All of these are an example of specific superpowers most of us don’t even recognize. What would your life look like if you recognized and lived in your superpowers every day? How would your mind, relationships, and life change?
You cannot run before you roll over or crawl and you cannot skip the steps of healing. You will need to cross the paradigm bridge from where you are to your fresh beginning of living in Christ’s design of love. Your healing will be much like a chick breaking out of its shell or a butterfly breaking free from its cocoon.