I realized that my whole life had been a quest to find Christ’s true love. I had traded up to lesser abuse with each marriage, while I tried to find Christ’s love through my broken love design.
I began to understand that my identity didn’t come from the conditions of my birth, what people said, how I felt, the experiences I had, or the value others placed on me.
Although lust starts as a thought, you must keep thinking on it for it to become a temptation.
Our faith in Christ requires us to trust him no matter what people say, how things look, or how we feel.
The longer I go without the living waters of peace from Jesus the worse my internal condition becomes and my external challenges look. I feel like I am caught in a dirt-devil depleting my strength, resources, and faith. When you sense your peace in Christ is being disrupted, stop and go to Jesus for direction. He promises to walk with you as he leads you in his peace. Trust him and keep praying or trying new steps until you feel his peace.
When our “normal” is unhealthy and promotes using people to get what you want, you become a disrespectful user and often an abuser of people. Likewise, women who grow up in this unhealthy environment come to believe is it “normal” and expected for them to be used and live their life as a victim if they are to be loved.
I was never taught how I was deceived by my childhood thoughts, beliefs, mistakes, and life experiences concerning my value. I discovered these lies, and my self-worth began being transformed when I consistently studied God’s word. My understanding deepened as my relationship with Christ flourished. I became devoted to learning what it means to let Jesus be the originator of my value and to live like I believed him.
For most of my childhood, I tried being a “perfect little girl” so I would be noticed and loved by my parents. In my teens, I tried to fit into the clicks by partying. In my thirteen-year abusive marriage, I tried to be what my abusive ex-husband kept telling me to be. You see, I know first-hand how easy it is to be deceived into believing you are not enough. I bought the lie of the devil that I had to be what someone else wanted me to be to feel loved. What deceptions are you caught in right now?
History shows us that when imperfect people use their independence to get what they desire without any consideration of others and a foundation of love and honor, the result is hurt, abuse, and devastation.
The process of surrender is constant and requires you to be intentional. Ever present is our flesh self-will wanting to do things “our way” and in “our time.” However, our way is the opposite of trusting and surrendering to Jesus.