Biggest Misinterpretation of Christ’s Love
“I thought you were a “Christian,” and you are always supposed to love and forgive me, no matter what.” I heard this comment countless times after being verbally degraded by all three of my abusive ex-husbands. Their statement revealed that their definition of love was much different than mine. It also showed me that they believed being a “Christian” meant that I was supposed to be their doormat.
Doormat Theology is the belief that “Christians” should be totally submissive and NOT defend themselves against any verbal, mental, physical, or any other form of abuse. Doormat theologists use their skewed unbiblical knowledge, beliefs, and twisted, misquoted scriptures about God and the Bible to manipulate, abuse, and assert their power and control over people to get what they want. They believe they are entitled to fulfill their desires and achieve their goals at all costs because they are narcissistic abusers. Doormat theology is another form of abuse called spiritual abuse.
To make sure we’re all using the legal definition of abuse, let’s look at the definition used by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Domestic violence is the willful intimidation (verbal, mental, or physical), physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. NCADV.org
Although their domestic violence definition states intimate partners, we all know we can experience abuse from strangers, peers, friends, or family. Their abuse comes in the form of bullying, psychological intimidation, physical violence, or any other form of verbal, mental, digital, financial, or spiritual abuse, to name a few.
Unless you know the complete truth of God by studying His Word, the Bible, you are vulnerable to be deceived into believing that your abuse or “suffering” is for God. These are the lies of spiritual abuse within doormat theology. Let’s look at how people misinterpret and twist God’s word and Christ’s design of love.
How Scripture is Misinterpreted, Misquoted, and Used as Spiritual Abuse
To understand the full meaning of a verse, you must study the context, meaning, and the intended audience when it was written. It’s also important to know the Greek or Hebrew definition of the words in a verse to understand God’s full meaning. Without knowing the complete truth in God’s word, it’s very easy to accept or use a verse or part of a verse out of context.
The misunderstanding of a verse and misuse creates the misinterpretation of God’s word. The fall of Eve happened because Satan misquoted and twisted God’s words. Eve chose to trust the devil instead of asking God if his statements were true or what they meant. Satan also used this method on Jesus without success because Jesus knew God’s word. Jesus quoted God’s complete truth back to the devil, and the devil left him.
Satan knows he can use people to deceive us with misinterpreted and misquoted Scripture unless we know God’s truth for ourselves. Jesus tells us. “You error because you don’t know God’s word or His power.” (Matt. 22:29, NIV) Jesus tells us how we’re deceived and how we can fix it.
Unless we know and operate in God’s full truth, our human condition and self-centered minds can be deceived or we can twist God’s word. Here are the three main reasons we may be deceived or twist God’s word.
- To make sense of our situation without asking God for His wisdom or help first.
- To excuse or condone our words or actions or another person’s to avoid conflict, accountability, and responsibility.
- To condemn another person with the motivation of control or proving we are better.
Christ Shows Us His Exceptional Love
Even some Christians believe that we are to let others hurt us in with the profession of love, but they are misguided. They’re confused about the difference between persecution and abuse. Jesus was persecuted, which brought physical abuse. However, persecution is defined as being subject to hostility and ill-treatment because of religious beliefs. Jesus chose to allow his persecution and abuse unto death only when it was time for him to be crucified.
However, Jesus never allowed anyone to physically hurt him or abuse him in any way before the cross. Although persecution may mean enduring physical abuse, persecution is punishment because you believe in Jesus Christ. When you are being abused, the abuser chooses to use various types of abuse to manipulate and control you to fulfill their self-centered desires. Abuse is a learned behavior, not a condition or an illness.
The exceptional love design of Jesus is evident in his life. He loved us so much that even though he had no sin, he chose to die for our sins. (2 Cor. 5:21, NIV) He taught us how to live in the two greatest commandments during his life, to love God with all we are, and to love others as we love ourselves. (Matt. 22:38-39, NIV) Christ’s life gives us examples of how we can love like him with our attitudes, words, and actions. We can respect others where they are, stand for justice non-violently, be responsible, accountable, and live in healthy boundaries.
The exceptional love of Jesus says. “Love one another; as I have loved you.” (John 15:12, NIV) Until we grow in a deep personal relationship with Jesus Christ every day and study God’s word, we are in danger of falling into or falling prey to abusive doormat theologists. Abuse is NEVER God’s will. Abuse is not in Christ’s exceptional love design. Abuse is a sin.
Break Free from Doormat Theology, the Biggest Lie About Christ’s Love
To many of you, this blog has revealed a new truth about the lies we were told or that we believe about Christ’s love from misinterpreted and misquoted scriptures. As disciples of Christ, we are each responsible to study and know the truth of God for ourselves, so we can see the lies others try to tell us. We must also have a deep personal relationship with Jesus and our loving Father, God, to know that we can come to them and ask them for clarity and confirmation.
Jesus gave us this example when he defeated the devil in the desert after forty days and nights without food or water. He used God’s word, and therefore, we must do the same. As we learn who Jesus is, we will also see the design of his love that never tells us to live in doormat theology or spiritual abuse.
If you have discovered that you are being controlled or abused through doormat theology thinking, you are not alone. I also want you to know that it is not God’s will for you to live in abuse. The first step to breaking the cycle of abuse or doormat theology is to learn about abuse and Christ’s love through God’s word.
Click this link to learn more about healthy, unhealthy, and abusive or toxic relationships. https://godstransforminggrace.com/signs-of-healthy-unhealthy-and-toxic-or-abusive-relationships/
To learn a clear success path to walk with Jesus in his love, order the book and workbook, Quest for Exceptional Love, Transform your love and relationships through Christ’s love design.
To find encouragement and support for the challenges you face every day, join my private Facebook group Growing Through God’s Transforming Grace.