After escaping my first abusive marriage, of thirteen years, I struggled with destructive thoughts and questions. ‘Why did the abuse happen? Why didn’t my husband learn to love me? What did I do wrong?’
All of these questions and many more have one thing in common. They are all deflective. In other words, my questions should really be the following. Why did my husband choose to abuse me? Why did my husband choose not to love me like he would love Jesus in the flesh? What did my husband do that went against Christ’s love design, his heart, and his characteristics? You see, I was taking responsibility for my husband’s choices and abuse instead of looking at my choice to accept the abuse.
The deception of deflection is one of the favorite tools of the devil in our minds. It works so well because he wraps them in our quadruplet emotions of hurt, guilt, shame, and low self-worth. Whenever you have been victimized, and you are not dwelling in a deep growing personal relationship with Jesus every day, you are vulnerable to the deception of the enemy through these emotions.
Satan’s Purpose and Goal
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; John 10:10 NIV. The thief is the devil. He will use any scheme or sinful flesh temptation we have to interrupt or to stop us from growing our personal relationship with Jesus.
He wants you to believe that anything you do against God makes you unloved and unaccepted by God. He ignites your past messages and beliefs about yourself that are destructive and untrue as a disciple of Jesus. He keeps you thinking that you are still your old self with a badge of Jesus pinned on your chest.
Unless you study God’s word to know His truth and power as you grow in your personal relationship with Jesus, you will feel stuck in your revolving loop of doubt, low self-esteem, self-destructive thoughts, and sin. You will allow yourself to be led by your hurt, guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. In your swirl of emotion and confusion, the devil keeps you blind to the love, freedom, and power of Christ living in you.
He wants to keep you distracted so you don’t learn how to tap into Christ’s power to replace all of the unhealthy thoughts, beliefs, and patterns with God’s truth. Only you can choose to change the quality, course, and future by breaking through the deceptive lies and beliefs you have lived in so far.
You may say, ‘But You Don’t Know What I’ve Done. Can Jesus Really Help Me?
My life is proof that once you believe and live in God’s truths, Jesus will help you transform your thinking and actions to mirror his heart, mind, and character. Halfway into my third abusive marriage, I realized that I was in the same abusive cycle. My reality brought me to my knees. I came to the end of myself, and this is where I completely surrendered to Christ.
I realized that my whole life had been a quest to find Christ’s true love. I had traded up to lesser abuse with each marriage, while I tried to find Christ’s love through my broken love design. In my season of discovery and growing, I finally understood that I had to use God’s knowledge, wisdom, and truth instead of using my imperfect knowledge. As I worked with Jesus to transform my thoughts, knowledge, wisdom, and identity into Christ’s, I developed an intimate knowing that I was loved unconditionally. Knowing I was loved empowered me to thrive in Christ’s true love in my life.
In our human condition, we can only do what we know how to do. But once you commit to finding Christ’s true love from God’s word and through a growing relationship with him, he will change your life. As you devote time every day to pray, to sing praise music, and to study God’s word, Jesus will bring revelation, healing, and freedom. Keep a journal as you begin your healing journey with Jesus. In time, you will see how you were deceived and how he can set you free. Jesus tells us.
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free.” Luke 4:18, 19 NIV
There is no lie, scheme, temptation, or weapon the devil can come up with that will overpower God! Do not let the enemy us deflection as a weapon against you. Stand in His truth and defeat the enemy by proclaiming God’s word just as Jesus did. Take back your mind and thrive in Christ’s love, freedom, and power!
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