If you’ve ever been through an abusive relationship, there are some things you need to remember to keep you from being deceived again. You have been through intense trauma. However, as a disciple of Christ, you can work with him to find healing, healthy love, and an abundant life.
If you are still struggling to break free from your abuser safely, I want you to know that you’re not alone in your process. Breaking free is a process. Let Jesus help you with new revelation, strength, and wisdom as you begin to heal.
1. Giving Yourself Time To Heal in Christ
Recovering from the trauma of abuse will take a while. It’s vital for you to commit to fostering your personal relationship with Jesus as your healing always begins in your spirit. Let him help you renew your mind through God’s word to reprogram your beliefs and broken love design.
Many Christian victims don’t realize that living in abuse is the opposite of living in Christ’s love design. See the help of a Christian counselor and life coach experienced with domestic abuse. Focus on learning what Christ’s love design is and how you can live in healthy relationships. Seek Jesus with all your heart, and you will find him.
2. Reasserting Your Boundaries
The time you’ve spent in your abuser’s presence has twisted your understanding of boundaries. Ask Jesus to help you create boundaries in your life to protect your mind, heart, spirit, and life. To have a healthy life and healthy relationships, you must have healthy boundaries.
Boundaries determine where you end, and others begin. Boundaries are about protecting yourself and not controlling others. During your time of healing, I recommend that you read the book Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. If you don’t learn something new, you will keep living in your unhealthy mindset, beliefs, and fall into the deception of another abusive relationship.
3. Accept That You Are Not At Fault
There is nothing you said or did that caused someone to abuse you. You are not the one who took your abuser’s words or hands and forced him to hurt you. They chose to abuse you. You are the one who received it. It’s time to realize as a disciple of Jesus, abuse is NEVER God’s will, even in a Christian marriage. You are never responsible for the words and actions your abuser chose to use.
4. Rediscover Your Identity in Christ
Losing your sense of your identity and self-worth is a primary reality of being abused. The abuse that happened to you and the words of your abuser doesn’t change the fact that as a disciple of Jesus, you are a new creation in him. For many Christians they don’t know they are beautiful, masterpieces, worth dying for, wise, strong, and courageous with Christ living in them. It’s time to ignite Christ’s revelations and love inside through God’s word and in a progressive personal relationship with Jesus every day. Break through the lies of the devil and live as a new creation in Christ.
5. Remember Jesus Loves You Unconditionally
God created you out of His perfect love as He knit you together inside your mother’s womb. He saved you for thousands of years to be born at the exact date you were born. When you chose to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, you stepped into your specific mission for him that you were created specifically for. Your journey in life has made you the person you are. Hold onto the hand of Jesus and feel his unconditional love for you. He came to earth to show you how to live in his love design and to prove you were worth dying for. Never forget Christ lives inside you, and he will NEVER leave you!
Darla Colinet, is a Christian Domestic Abuse Expert and love and life coach. In Fort Collins, Colorado, she helps women overcome their abuse deception and live in the love and abundance of Christ. Visit her website today, God’s Transforming Grace.com, for more information on her relationship coaching services and Christian self-esteem speaking services.