Abusive relationships can be confusing to spot at the beginning of your relationship. The mind games of abuse begin subtly as they are intertwined with complements, gifts, and thoughtfulness. By the time the abuse becomes more intense, you are confused and beginning to have feelings for the abuser.
To help you understand the dynamics of abuse, let’s look at the top five signs. The more you know about abuse, the better chance you have to spot early abusive behaviors. Be on the look-out for these abusive behaviors to keep you from starting a toxic abusive relationship.
These signs include:
One of the first signs of an abusive relationship, is possessiveness. If your partner gets angry at you when you speak to other people, and he rationalizes his jealous words and behavior, he is being possessive. Remember, abuse is about control. The abuser will use anything and everything to make sure they stay in control of all your relationships. They slowly use their possessiveness to isolate you from your friends and family.
Jealousy is the twin of possessiveness. Jealousy feeds the fear and anger in an abusive person. Jealousy is in every abusive relationship and a key component in verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse.
Rushing the Commitment
Abusers will rush your relationships to a serious level quickly. They will claim they, can’t live without you, that they fell in love with you at first sight, that you are their soulmate. The truth is they want to be in control of your life as soon as possible. If you hear a potential love partner in your life say these things to you, run.
3. Insults and Put Downs
Abusive relationships start with complements. However, they slowly turn into hurtful jabs excused as “just joking around.” An abuser is a craftsman of manipulation. He uses specific words he knows will hurt you and ignite thoughts and feelings of low self-esteem. The minute someone speaks to you disrespectfully, you are being abused. Don’t stay, walk away safely!
4. Physical and or Sexual Violence
An abuser will usually wait until you are farther into the relationship and you become more physical. He will use playful physical behaviors at first. When you show any resistance or objection, he will hold your arm too tightly, or use extreme force, to scare you. If you don’t get out of the relationship the physical and sexual abuse will increase.
Being in an abusive relationship is unhealthy, toxic, and NEVER God’s will. Be sure to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship so you can take control of your situation. The best way to avoid being deceived into an abusive relationship is to educate yourself about domestic abuse. It’s also vital to learn about your broken love design and Christ’s exceptional love design to see how to stop being deceived about unhealthy love. Let people who have overcome abuse bring you insight and understanding.
Darla Colinet, at God’s Transforming Grace, is a Christian abusive relationship expert and Christian Self-Esteem speaker. She helps people discover and overcome their vulnerability to become a victim of domestic abuse. Through her transparency about the lessons she’s learned in her life overcoming twenty-years of domestic abuse, people are encouraged and confident they can also move to the healed side of abuse, with the help of Jesus Christ. Contact her now to through her website for more information on her services. https://godstransforminggrace.com